OMG can the calendar move any slower?????

For those of you that may not know me in real life, I spent my summer in preparation for the state bar exam. I took the exam w---------a----------y back in July. It is now November and I am still sitting waiting for the results.

Yes, this is normal for California.

Yes, going into it I knew November 19th would be the release date.

Yes, I know patience is a virtue.

Yes, I have no reason to be mad....

However.......

I want the results.

I feel like I need to know.

I'm tired of people asking if I have heard yet.

I hate people asking what my plan is if I fail. (STFU people, seriously???)

I'm exhausted with waiting. My sole comfort is that I gave it everything I have and couldn't have been more diligent about it.

I really want to know this experience is behind me. I'm a glutton for misery and already registered to take the exam at the next available date (February) and I want to start studying, but can't. I hate thinking it's all a waste if I haven't passed and need to re-do California.

On a side note.....My back up plan is not a good one. I saved over nine weeks of vacation for bar prep and used it all when I took the test this summer. If I fail, I'm at the mercy of my work letting me take time off completely without pay (something I don't think they have done before) or being forced to resign which would mean zero income or job to return to. These are soo things I can't think about right now.

Whoa that what a lot of rambling and venting!